Aaaah!

Guess what I saw on a spontaneous trip to Gateway?



PIRATES 4~ ♪

I cannot wait to watch it! Although sadly, I will not be able to watch it with my usual movie-watching group--I will be in the United States by then. I hope I still have fun though!

UP Diliman!

Last week, one of my uncles took me out to UP Diliman, to talk about things, walk around, and take photographs.
It was actually a pretty fun day, and I'd never been able to walk around UP like this before, so it was really an experience.



We had dinner at Tomatokick afterwards. Up there is their stuffed tomatoes. You can't tell from the photo, but I think we ordered a little too much food. We were very full by the end and almost couldn't finish our orders. (笑)

I hope to go out with my uncle again soon, this was a very fun time.

Issues.

I normally don't blog about such heavy things...
The news has been out for a while that I was unable to graduate. Even though I passed all my subjects, my grade point average didn't make it to the mark needed for graduation. As anyone might expect, it caused much uproar among my family, especially since my mother came home from New Jersey just to see me graduate.

I'm upset in my own way...though for me, I've done enough crying and after all the efforts I have made, I think I've done everything I can to fix things...
I appealed for re-admission into the university and well, as it is, I lost the appeal. I will receive a certificate of completion of courses and a transcript, rather than a degree and a diploma. It is still of use to me, and well...

I am, in many ways, ready to push into the next stage of my life. With the kind of attitude I have, I think, I have enough drive to do anything...

But why does my family have to be this difficult?

I am not surprised, and understand that they're hurting, and I am sorry I was a disappointment...but the past two years have been a time of self-discovery...and I've learned so much more about myself than I ever felt I could have...so many things have changed in me...

As it is, I'll be leaving for New Jersey soon enough, because my green card is ready, and I'll have to be a permanent resident...But as most of you might guess, I really don't want to go.

The way I think about it, change comes to me whether I stay here or go there. Either way, I will have to work hard, and I'm open to that...But the only thing discouraging me from going to the US is my family... and my relationship with my family is not exactly the best...

My mother in particular, while doting and loving, can be very controlling, and it can be quite an issue to deal with. I have no friends my age in New Jersey, and will be left quite alone with my family, which makes it several times more controlling...I was actually quit suffocated during my last stay in New Jersey, and I have no doubt that things can get worse...

It's not a very good situation, is it. (笑)

I think I have made clear within myself what I wish to do with my life. I enjoy doing many things, and am open to doing any kind of work...Overall, I strive for freedom.

I am still searching, really. I have mixed feelings about going. Things I can gain, things I will leave behind...For me, the changes amount to almost the same amount, and it all depends where I am happiest, even though suffering through hardship...

For now, I am outlining the things I can do when I go there. It might take a miracle for me to be able to stay here, and I have plenty of things I need to work out. So for now, I will see what I can do. If I can gain more working experience while I'm here, then it will be all the better.

Fight on, Get on, Keep on, Step up...F.G.K.S.

And for some reason, 走り出す時 also made an appearance. I will write messages to myself everyday, if I need to. To remember that I can get through this.

For now, I'll end this with the phrase I will rely on to bring me through everything:
頑張ります！