Tension.

Right now, I'm basking in the aftermath of a family gathering.

Since some of my relatives heard that I might be called for a job interview soon, they gave me a lot of advice about it. There were a lot of laughs too, considering how much I banged my head on the desk in mock frustration at all the pressure.(笑)

Sometimes, I wonder what I really want in my life...

I'm very certain that I love the work involved in the major I studied, especially after my experience as an intern in an advertising company. I was quite happy about what I did and I honestly want to pursue a creative path...

But I think that Advertising might have been an excuse for me, to continue doing the things I love, like drawing. Sometimes I wonder if my path really lies in the Advertising world. I do love it, no matter how high-pressure it always seemed to be...

But after talking with my relatives, and after they pointed out how heavy the Japanese influence was on my resume, I started to wonder what was more important to me.

I mentioned the following things on my resume: that I could read, write and speak basic Japanese, that I headed a Japanese appreciation org, and even made a thesis based on Japanese culture in the Philippines. It almost very quickly overshadows the advertising experience, although in a creative aspect, I am very much inspired by Japanese art and culture.

I love the idea of a creative path, and I think I also mentioned somewhere that there were so many things I wanted to accomplish. But is it the idea of the creative path, or the creative path itself, that I want?

I'm just so drawn to Japanese culture as well that I also feel that I'm using advertising only as a means to pursue my dream of furthering Japanese culture studies. I mean, if your dreams need so much to fuel them, why not take a path to get that fuel, even if it's slightly off the dream path?

I'm really confused. (笑)

I feel bad for not seeing the road that leads to my goal, or the goal my road leads to.

One of my relatives suggested that since I was that involved in Japanese, I should try volunteering or looking for employment at a Japanese organization if I could find one. I could also work as a website maintainer, somehow.

On that whim, I looked up the Japan Society in New York, and while I didn't find any employment opportunities, I did find some nice internships. I was particularly interested in an internship on Performing Arts. There are so many events in the Japan Society that I wish I could go to, and programs I wish I could take, but I guess it will have to wait until they start employing again.

On another hunch, I looked up Japan organizations in my area, and I found the Japanese-American Society of New Jersey. Lo and behold, there were job opportunities, maybe even something I'm qualified for.

I got excited by the idea, surprisingly, a lot more excited than I ever was for the other interview that I may or may not have. My mother says I should try calling them to ask about the job openings.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm this excited for it...I hope I'm doing the right thing.

I'll give them a call this Monday.(笑)

Please wish me luck!

My haaaaair

The hairstylist didn't want to cut it at first (笑)

She kept saying, "But your hair! You have beautiful hair!"

I think I'm happy enough with this length (> <)

I might cut it very short someday, though!

We'll see. (笑)

Speaking of cutting it very short, the stylist also suggested that if I were to cut it short after growing it so long, I may as well donate my hair to make wigs for cancer patients. (笑)

I would actually be very glad to!

I would even consider shaving my head (笑)

Panicking!

Getting my hair cut today! (> <)

I'm actually a little worried...

I never liked getting haircuts (=o=)

But we'll see what happens (> <)

Finally!

Thanks to help from my bff-waifu Kimm, I managed to understand and edit the HTML for this blog, and now I've given it an overhaul!

What do you guys think? (笑)

I'll probably add more things to the site as time goes by. (^^) It was difficult, staring at the HTML and cleaning up some of it, searching for other templates and doing research, just to get this result. Thankfully, in the end, it was actually a simple enough process. (笑) I'll be able to handle it better next time~

I know that it's been a very long time since I made a proper blog post, and I owe everyone some photos. (笑) Not to worry! I'll make sure to write more!(I hope.)

So far I think I'm surviving, and I'm also a little pleased that my deviantART account is starting to live again. I've been working on my drawing and coloring lately, and I hope to get better.

I feel like I always say that, but never really finish?

Easier said than done, I guess. (笑)

I might be spreading myself a little too thin over the things I want to do, but I think eventually things will even out, and I'll know what I can accomplish.

I'll do what I can!

Oh, and, I made a very emotional post on Tumblr yesterday, regarding the Harry Potter series.

I don't think I want to post it here again. (笑) I don't want to cry!

But yes, Harry Potter has been my childhood...I learned a lot from it, and it has made an impact on my speech and writing...it encouraged me to read...I feel very sad that we've come to the end of an era.

I'll be watching the final movie, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, tomorrow in New York.

I think I should bring either a handkerchief, or a box of tissues. (笑)

Blog overhaul within the next few days!

As you can see, I finally managed to put the navigation links for previous and next posts (^^)

I'm still figuring out how to add another sidebar (^^;) and I'm thinking of making a new header...But yeah. Hopefully by the end of this week it'll be all finished, depending how long I have to stare at Blogspot HTML to fix this. (笑)