I feel like I just died.

And came back to life again.

There hasn't been much going on in my life lately, and I remember having all these plans and dreams along the way, and somehow, I got sidetracked.

I'm back at the point where I still don't know exactly what I want.

But somehow, all it took was listening to my idol again.

I don't know how it happens, and I'm probably just overthinking things, as I always do. (笑)

Nakagauchi Masataka, you have a tendency to bring me back to life when I am dead. This wish of meeting you is still a faraway dream, but I honestly hope to get there. I want to see your intensity and love for life in person.


I don't know if Masa himself wrote this on the sidewalk of New York, even though I know he was there years ago. It's gone now. But I want this to stay here, so that I don't forget him. He is still that one major influence in my life. I'm glad I discovered him.



I want life to be beautiful again.

Birthday~

Haha, my birthday (January 27th) was kind of uneventful, since I had work that day...but I got a lot of love and greetings nonetheless (^^)

My family surprised me with an amazing dinner of seafood pasta, and a nice cake!



I was pretty happy with how the celebration went but it kind of reminded me that I was a year older (obviously) and I'm still not close at all to accomplishing the goals I'd listed down last year (>_<)

I'm happy though for several things; one is that my family does love me, even though I often feel irritated with them and the rest of the world. Still though, I'm starting to realize that seriously, I have a long way to go regarding my goals and dreams (no matter how ridiculous they are) and even though I should be happy that I have a job, I really have to take a lot of things more seriously. Some people at work are saddled down with more things to do than me, and it makes me feel bad that I'm complaining about how my life is going and that I apparently have too little time to myself.

And I ask myself over and over again: "What am I doing with my life?"

The answer may as well be: "Nothing."

I need to bring myself out of being lazy and just do what it is I want to accomplish.

I have to work on the mini-projects that I promised myself I would work on, and I will finish them.

Let's see what I can do.

So, for now, I've been thinking about doing some character illustrations on book characters. There are certain books I read that always inspire me, and the Howl's Moving Castle series by Dianna Wynne Jones is one of them. Another is Ella Enchanted, so I'll be trying my hand at making illustrations of those. I've already started on Howl's Moving Castle, so I hope to have something to present by next week. I'm doing a bit of research on fashion and clothing in that era so hopefully something does strike me.

Oh, and I guess I'm missmysty's official fanfic illustrator for her Sekaiichi Hatsukoi fanfics now that we've done one project together. I illustrated her fanfiction "Morning Sun", a Sekaiichi Hatsukoi AU fic. I'm thankful to her since she got me started on this road (even if it was a very rocky process, hah), and I hope to continue.

She's starting a new AU fanfic for Sekaiichi Hatsukoi called "Idol", which I also hope to illustrate as it goes along.

I hope for the best!

頑張ります!

お久しぶり!

It's been a very long time (笑)

I've been busy! My job as a Halloween store sales associate is over, so I went around looking for a job around last week.

I'm extremely happy that I got employed again, this time at a bookstore! (笑) I think I'm only going to be hired for the holiday season, but I think they have a tendency to permanently keep their holiday temps, so I hope I do well (^^)

Today was actually my first day as a cashier there, and the process is very different, but I'm slowly getting used to it. I really want to stay for a long while, so I hope for the best.

Oh, and before I forget, here are some photos from our apple picking several weeks ago!


Here are all the apples we picked (笑)


And me with a pumpkin! Since it was that close to Halloween, there were so many pumpkins. And this one was heavy!

And speaking of Halloween, this was my Halloween costume on my last day of work (笑)


In other news, I have become an almost-regular customer at Kinokuniya! I have so many cute things now thanks to them, but I have to curb my spending now. I need to control my spending! But I'll show you guys what I got sometime, okay? (笑)

I've also been more active on Livejournal again lately; I've kind of turned it into my fangirling journal. I'm probably gonna pop a new little icon for the sidebar soon.(笑)

I've recently become a huge fan of the BL anime/manga Sekaiichi Hatsukoi, and clearly, it has impacted my life that heavily. (笑) For those of you who enjoy reading/watching BL, and enjoyed Shungiku Nakamura's Junjou Romantica, I encourage you to take a look at her spin-off, Sekaiichi Hatsukoi! Granted, there are no official licensed translations as of now, but there are scanlation groups working on it for now. I enjoyed this series a lot more than I did Junjou Romantica, and

I hope to update some more soon! I missed blogging, and I hope I have more things to post!

頑張ります!

Good news~!

I think I have a job interview tomorrow~ （笑）

I'll be going to New York tomorrow on my own. Some family friends recommended me to a company and they'll be taking me there... (^^;)

I've been very nervous about finding a job since I started living here, since I feel like everything depends on it. There are so many things I want to accomplish in my life, and somehow, having a job makes it feel a lot more possible. (>_<)

All right!

This will be a fresh, fresh start! （笑）

These are the things I want to do:

1) Study graphic and web design. Whether it's by self-study or through lessons or a school, I want to study this and become more proficient. It takes time, so I will have to make time. I've started reading and picking up my pencils again.
I'm also going to start being active on the Toradora! Tumblr that I have, as an exercise in simple things like photo editing/arranging/whatnot. I hope to get better with time.

2) Learn dance. I know it's easy to find dance studios in the area. I will learn and persevere. Hiphop and ballet, anyone? （笑）

3) In case I find it difficult to get into a dance studio, (or in addition to learning dance) I want to study a martial art. Since it promotes discipline and inner strength, and sense of self, I want to pick up one. I saw several karate studios nearby, I think it will be fairly easy to get to one.

4) This is just a side note, but as a fourth thing, I want to pass my driving test on my first try. Because I want to show up my mom who failed the written test three times (although she didn't have to take a practical.)

5) I want a place of my own, and a kitchen of my own. This is self-explanatory. I want my own apaaatoooo.

6) I'm planning to take the Japanese Language Proficiency Test in December, so I'll be self-studying and translating manga and songs as a project within the next, er, 6 months?

I think this is it for now? （笑）
My dreams aren't impossible, are they? （笑）

頑張ります!

Adventure in Manhattan!

I'm surprised at my own daring!
Today, my mom and aunt were working at East 61st street in Manhattan, New York. They let me tag along, and told me that if I wanted to, I could go explore the city while they were working. So, I took the opportunity to have an adventure!

They probably expected me to look around Bloomingdale's or something. (笑)

I'd done a search on Google Maps of the area, and the thing was, I was looking for a new age or occult store, because I had been unable to buy a set of tarot cards for myself before. The nearest store, Enchantments, was on East 9th street, which is actually 2.6 miles from East 61st. I would need to walk down 1st Avenue, which was around the corner from my mom and aunt's working place. Still though, I had enough confidence in myself, so I prepared myself for the walk.

I was actually really shocked by the distance. I walked past so many things--by the time I'd hit East 46th street, I'd passed the UN Headquarters! I slowed down when walking past the Philippine flag...It really reminded me of home.

While I was doing that though, I noticed how empty the streets were and the number of NYPD officers out on the road. Then motorcycle officers passed, along with several black cars, and later, a limousine with the American flag on the hood.
I realized that all the security was because of President Obama! (笑) He was scheduled for a speech at Ground Zero that afternoon. I was amused that I was able to see his car pass by.

I walked on, and the rest of the walk was pretty uneventful until I reached 9th street. I found the store, but was dismayed since it would open at 1pm, and I had arrived at 12 noon. Still, I was there, so I waited. I hung around a nearby herb and root shop called Flower Power, which sold such a wide variety of herbs, spices and oils that I was fascinated. It reminded me a bit of an apothecary, or a potion ingredient shop. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if it catered to that, too. (笑)

Eventually though, I came back out to wait outside Enchantments, until a blonde girl came up to open the shop for me and another waiting customer, who said he was a beginner at magic. Of course, I immediately went to look at Tarot cards, and I was happy that the people who ran the shop were friendly and helpful. I suppose it really did come with the territory. They seemed very down to earth despite what they practiced, and I appreciated that very much.

I bought my own deck of tarot cards (at last). I decided to buy a smaller, pocket-sized deck, since my hands are pretty small. (笑) The shop also carried herbs and roots, like Flower Power, but I appreciated the staff here--back in Flower Power, the people there seemed rather stiff and unfriendly. Here in Enchantments, they were very accommodating and I didn't feel shy about asking things.

I took one of their cards for future reference. Perhaps I'll use a money order service to get another item from them someday! I hope to visit this shop again.

Still though, I had to make it back to East 61st, and there was little time. I had promised to be back by 2pm, and since I has waited and spent some time there, I needed a faster way to go back, and a taxicab was not an option. The blonde who had opened the shop for us told me about a bus that ran down 1st Avenue, and, since I didn't have a Metrocard, even offered to change my bills for quarters, so I would have fare for the bus.
But before I could hand over my money, the other customer who was waiting with me offered to give me his Metrocard. He said there were still a few dollars in it, and he was willing to give it to me. I was overwhelmed, of course, and was a little shy about accepting it, but he told me to take it anyway. After all, he said, it was good karma.
I thanked them profusely, left a a dollar in the shop's tip jar, and later took the bus back to East 61st. While I sat there in the bus, I reflected on how eventful my day in Manhattan had been, and just how accomplished I felt, even if all I had done was wander about on my own. My mom was impressed at how far I walked and how I had made it back without getting lost.

Overall, this day has been good. It's just one of those days that really make me believe that not all is lost in the world. Whenever I go out on my own, even when I am nervous, or even if it's my first time to be somewhere, I always feel like I am surrounded by angels who guide me. It's an oddly comforting feeling. It's a belief I've always held that even people who cross the street with you, so that you can cross with them safely, are like angels. People who help you when you are in trouble, too. People who pick up that thing you dropped. Really. I feel very blessed. It's these little things, every day.

I hope to have more days like these.

Alive again~

I arrived in New Jersey on the same day Osama Bin Laden died. I find it very ironic. (笑)

Some of my friends joked that I was to be his replacement. (笑)

Since I'm pretty much over my jet lag, I'm adjusting a little to life here.

There were many things I experienced on my way here. It took several connecting flights for me to reach home: one from Manila to Tokyo, a second from Tokyo to Seattle, and a final one form Seattle to New Jersey.Here are several highlights of my trip:
-I actually met the first dean of my university's school of management and his wife. They were wonderful people. His wife treated me like her own granddaughter. I felt very touched. They treated me to Mcdonald's while we were in Narita airport in Japan.

-Speaking of Japan, I have finally been there! To the airport at least. I pretty much bought random things in the airport shops, and got a free taste of mochi~ ♪
I was very excited about it--Japan is really, really beautiful, when you view it from the airplane window. The trees, fields, and buildings that you can see...they just look amazing, almost unreal. I couldn't stop staring out the window when we landed in Japan, and when we took off from it.

-Japanese toilets are also very interesting. So many buttons! (@_@)

-While I was in the airport, the dean's wife asked me to draw this bearded man in a turban sitting several rows away from us. This was the first time I'd ever been requested to do such a thing, and with realism in mind.

-Shifting across timezones is very freaky. If I think about it, I'd been traveling for more than 20 hours, I think, and yet I landed in New Jersey on the same day! (Which makes sense if you remember than there are 24 hours in a day, but still, it's a little freaky.)(笑)

-Static can be a little alarming.(>_<) I experienced it with my hair and clothes, which caused my hair to go haywire on the plane. Also, whenever I touched certain things, i would feel electrocuted. Static electricity is (for lack of a better word) shocking!

-I lost my chocolate cake dessert somewhere on the floor due to my own clumsiness. I felt very very depressed afterwards since I was really looking forward to a sweet. (>_<)

-Also, for the first time, I felt displeased with service on the airplane, because I was not given my pre-arrival snack. Again, I felt a little depressed as my seatmate ate his snack, while I had none. I had to press the button for service, and it took more than twenty minutes for them to notice and respond. (>_<) I got my snack in the end though. (笑)

Ah, I haven't adjusted the time zone here yet. To be honest, I'm reluctant to change time zone settings on my laptop. I like to be reminded what date and time it is at home. No matter, I'll figure it out eventually.

For now, I will rest again. I have so many things to adjust to!

UP Diliman!

Last week, one of my uncles took me out to UP Diliman, to talk about things, walk around, and take photographs.
It was actually a pretty fun day, and I'd never been able to walk around UP like this before, so it was really an experience.



We had dinner at Tomatokick afterwards. Up there is their stuffed tomatoes. You can't tell from the photo, but I think we ordered a little too much food. We were very full by the end and almost couldn't finish our orders. (笑)

I hope to go out with my uncle again soon, this was a very fun time.

Sorry for the lack of posts!

As it is, I can't seem to find my card reader for my phone's memory card.

I have a lot of things to share!!

But until I can find my card reader, the photos will have to wait. (笑)

For now, enjoy this cover of 1/3 no Junjou na Kanjou by FLOW! One of my favorite bands covering one of my favorite songs~ ♪ So happy~ (笑)




Had some drinks last night so a little crazy (笑) Also played Rockband yesterday! ♪

Will post pictures soon! Going out with friends today. (笑)

----------
Also heard about the tsunami that plagued Japan just yesterday. I sincerely hope that everything will turn out all right despite all the damage it caused. (>_<) Of all the places to get hit...
Hopefully all the people we love and admire are all right....

I will make this the end~!

Working on a last extra credit paper and some Japanese homework. I can do this!

Just watched Hayao Miyazaki's "Spirited Away"~ ♪

It was a really good movie! I can only hope I can make an equally good critique that will impress my teacher. I really owe my teachers this semester--they went out on a limb for me. I must not fail them (>_<)

Now to finish it all off~

頑張ります～

Sunday~

Went to school in the morning to study for an exam that afternoon. The library was closed, but I studied by the fountain instead.

So peaceful~ and the still waters reflected the trees so clearly ♪

Tomorrow will most likely be a day of chaos, so this one day of peace is very good ♪

Immersion!

This was the setting for my so-called "wilderness sabbatical". (笑) We went to Mexico, Pampanga; we spent three days and two nights there. We planted rice, leveled the field, and basically immersed ourselves in farm life.


However, what really kept us busy was the children. As you can see, I practically got buried here. (笑) It was fun playing with them, and honestly, out here, they have a chance for a real childhood, playing and running, and I find them really, really lucky to be able to have that. Our last night was spent playing with the children and putting on a show. Practicing for that, singing random things and just feeling the bond between us in our immersion group was cool. Honestly. I'd never felt happier. (^^)


What amused me most, though, was the turkeys. I've never seen turkeys before, so yes. The turkeys crossed the road. (笑)

Off to the wilderness!

Tomorrow, I go to Mexico, Pampanga, for my immersion!

I hope things go well. I will be gone from December 17-19~

I suppose I could consider this a kind of wilderness sabbatical? (笑)

I'm packing my clothes in a panic now. (笑)

Overall, I have a good feeling about this trip~♪

Hopefully I discover many things.

頑張ります～！

THE NUTCRACKER!

Oh, ballet~! How I missed you~ ♪


I can't believe I was able to catch The Nutcracker last night! (笑)
The performance was amazing, to say the least. I'm really glad that Ochibi and Kin-chan invited me to watch, as I had nothing better to do anyway, and this felt like the chance of a lifetime. And I was glad, too. (^^)

Some random moments after the performance:


Me trying to pose against a backdrop of Lisa Macuja. I never made it to toe shoes back when I was still taking ballet, so this pose was difficult to hold, and had to be repeated several times. (笑) My ankles will never be the same way again. (^^;)


Kin-chan, Ochibi and me against one of the curtains of the ALIW Theater during one of the intermissions. Now that they had seen part of the ballet for themselves, my old ballet training was so much more evident, according to them. I kept getting teased all night.(笑)


After the performance, we went to CCP in order to buy Fanta from the gift shop. I had told Ochibi about it some time back and now that we had the opportunity, we got her the Fanta she always wanted. I ordered a Dr. Pepper, and regretted it: it really tasted like medicine! I will never drink it again. (>_<);;


One of the best moments of the evening: Kontra-Gapi's performance at the CCP Night Market! As it turns out, every first Saturday of the month, CCP holds a Night Market. Sometimes there are guests invited to perform, and we saw Kontra-Gapi that night. Kontra-Gapi stands for Kontemporaryong Gamelan Pilipino, and they're an ethic music and dance ensemble from UP Diliman. Their music was wonderful, and it was a good end to a culture-ridden night. (笑)

Although they wanted to pressure me to dance. (笑)

And before I forget:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NIOU MASAHARU!
Your trickster ways will always live on in my heart.

IN THE HEIGHTS!

1:19AM @ NJ
I watched a musical on Broadway for the first time!


IN THE HEIGHTS!!!!!

It was an amazing performance. I could not believe my eyes or my ears. Everyone, down to the very last dancer, had so much talent, so much energy. I have never seen such an amazing performance!!

The feeling is indescribable. The musical had an amazing blend of hiphop, rap, salsa, and just...awesome singing. It really struck a chord in me, and it hit me close to home. It was about the life of immigrants in Washington Heights. I have never seen such life in a performance. The professional level is just so high above me, I can hardly believe what I'm watching is real. It feels so much like a dream.

The dance numbers, the songs, the acting...If only I could unleash that much force and energy in life.

CASINO!!!

4:32AM @NJ

First time to go into a casino~

Hope they don't ask for my ID (笑)

I am perfectly old enough!!!

New York!

12:44AM @NJ


Went into New York City for the first time yesterday. It was an interesting trip, though some parts of New York still seriously remind me of home for some reason. Some things are just the same.

LIKE THIS SANRIO STORE (^^)

Sadly, I couldn't go in; we didn't have time. (>_<);

We had lunch at Yoshinoya~ Though it isn't the same as back home, it's more of a rice bowl place here. Then again, I have never tried Yoshinoya back home.


We went to many places, other toy stores and such. It was really cold!!!
What I did find enchanting about the city, though, was how their sidewalks seriously glitter at night.

Bored~

3:40AM @NJ

おはようございます！（笑）
A little Ouji moment up there for me.（笑）

We went out a couple of days ago and I saw this:

Ochibi and Kin-chan would have gone crazy if they saw this.（笑）Fanta!


The sunset for the day. I'm surprised to see the colors so clearly. Will try to take another photo when I have the chance!

I'll go and sleep now. Haha!
おやすみ～

Finally in New Jersey!

Timestamp: 3.21AM @ NJ


God, that trip was maddening. (O_O)
Basically, we left the Philippines on Oct 17 at 6am, and the flight took us to Beijing first. From Beijing, we took another plane to New York where we were picked up, and that's the overview of the flight.

I'm not so sure I'm too thrilled about travelling this far. I was happier during the stopover in Beijing. (^_^;)

Here's a basic transcript of my thoughts during the flight.
----------
Oct.17: 8am Beijing Time

Breakfast was finally served on the plane. I was starving and basically didn't care anymore. Once again, China proves that mushrooms save my life.

Oct 17: 12:30pm Beijing Time

The flight to Beijing took longer than I'd expected. The moment I step off the plane, a blast of cold air hits my face. My first thought: "Where the hell is the aircon?" You can't tell from the picture, but it was that cold. (O_o)

Since I had some excess Chinese currency from my trip several years ago, my mom and I decided to spend it right then and there. Airport shopping!! Managed to get some nice things, actually.

Funny moment at the airport though--I left my jacket in one of the waiting areas! I realized it when we were in line to board the plane. I ran at full speed to get it and skidded like an idiot on the tiled floor.
One of the female maintenance staff saw the whole thing and laughed. It wasn't a mocking laugh, it was actually quite a nice laugh. I'm glad I made her day. I guess she doesn't see things like that often. It was actually the first time I felt good about the trip.

I had some misgivings when I heard some Americans complaining about a lot of things while we were in line, like how when we were called to board, they didn't call us by section. I distinctly heard one of them say, "Well, that's dumb." Hmm. Not a very good impression on me, really.

Though there was a nice story from some woman behind us in line. She was telling her companion about how some stranger was asking around and flashing a passport at them asking if they knew the person on the passport. It was apparently a lost item and the stranger was trying to get it back to the owner. The lady commented how lucky the person who lost the passport was. There were still tickets and other things inside. I would have to agree.

Oct. 17: 2pm Beijing Time

On the plane headed for New York. Lunch was just served and I am so glad I grabbed the seafood option, I don't think I'd felt this satisfied about a food choice in a while. Still have an unpleasant feeling in stomach though, that has nothing to do with food. Hm.
Being in a plane full of Americans is starting to make me feel uncomfortable. People all around keep either socializing (not too bad) or just butting in among others (kind of bad).

Oct 17: 5pm Beijing Time
Karate Kid just finished airing as an in-flight movie. I'm glad they cut out the bad parts though. I wasn't too fond of the movie, but hey, it reminded me of home nonetheless. Was thinking of doing some Tai Chi in the back of the plane but was worried that I would attract too much attention/get picked on by the Chinese on board the flight.

Oct 17: 9pm Beijing Time
Dinner was served. I got too lazy to take a photo, plus I was hungry and I couldn't find my phone. Muh. I had spaghetti then. It was surprisingly good. Or maybe I was just starving like whoah.

I also somehow got roped into a Tai Chi conversation with two foreigners in the back of the plane. I was amused.

Oct 18: 12mn Beijing time
Getting very close now to New York. Only two more hours from this point and then it's all bright and sunny 2pm instead of dark 2am. I'm getting a little more worried , definitely. It struck me again how much I missed everyone.

Also, about 90% of the Caucasians on board the flight were strangely overweight. Erm. Just an observation. A disturbing one.

Oct 17: 3pm NEW YORK TIME.

FINALLY got out of the airport. Getting rushed off into a car to my aunt's house now.


Driving wherever. I have no idea how this will turn out, but I hope it's going to be enjoyable at the very least.
----------
And there you have it. All my woe and all my nightmares during the flight.

I hope I blog about happier times in New Jersey.
Hope to hear from you all!

My bags are almost packed...

As most of you probably already know, my flight to the US is today, Oct. 17. I haven't been blogging lately due to all the preparations for finals and other problems!

So tiring~ I just came from a Toujin party, and I swam probably for about 5 hours. (^_^;)

It was a day filled with madness. This kind of madness, love and insanity, I would never exchange for anything. 東人! 大好き!本当にありがとう！

In addition, Ochibi came to visit, and we had our last moments of fangirling, and she gave me a gift for me to remember her and Kin-chan by.

There is only one thing I can say--THEY ARE INSANE. And I love them.

No rest for me tonight though. I have to finish packing the things most important to me, and finish certain forms.

To all my loves in the Philippines, I WILL MISS YOU ALL.

Please support me till the very end~

My next post will be made from NEW JERSEY!!! I will make sure to document my stay.

EDIT [10.20.2010/3.06AM @NJ]Last shot with Ochibi:

2nd Live (笑)

Had our second performance at The Aerie in Cervini Caf near Ateneo's new University Dorm. I have to say, We were quite successful in a sense. Ochibi and Kin-chan came to watch us. (笑)

Kae and I made a mistake in singing 1/3 no Junjou na Kanjou, since it was a last minute change to our play list. None of us had mastered "You"/"Dear You" just yet. In addition, Sarah couldn't sing with us as her throat started to hurt something fierce.

Not that Kae and I were any exception--we were also suffering from colds and cough, but we were a little less strained than Sarah--she'd already performed earlier. Mou~

At least we got a good response from the audience, and a lot of ideas. Yaaaaay~ (笑)

I was subjected to a lot of madness from the Toujin Boys though. I swear, those guys are insane.

TILL THE NEXT PERFORMANCE!! Please continue to support us till the very end~