Issues.

I normally don't blog about such heavy things...
The news has been out for a while that I was unable to graduate. Even though I passed all my subjects, my grade point average didn't make it to the mark needed for graduation. As anyone might expect, it caused much uproar among my family, especially since my mother came home from New Jersey just to see me graduate.

I'm upset in my own way...though for me, I've done enough crying and after all the efforts I have made, I think I've done everything I can to fix things...
I appealed for re-admission into the university and well, as it is, I lost the appeal. I will receive a certificate of completion of courses and a transcript, rather than a degree and a diploma. It is still of use to me, and well...

I am, in many ways, ready to push into the next stage of my life. With the kind of attitude I have, I think, I have enough drive to do anything...

But why does my family have to be this difficult?

I am not surprised, and understand that they're hurting, and I am sorry I was a disappointment...but the past two years have been a time of self-discovery...and I've learned so much more about myself than I ever felt I could have...so many things have changed in me...

As it is, I'll be leaving for New Jersey soon enough, because my green card is ready, and I'll have to be a permanent resident...But as most of you might guess, I really don't want to go.

The way I think about it, change comes to me whether I stay here or go there. Either way, I will have to work hard, and I'm open to that...But the only thing discouraging me from going to the US is my family... and my relationship with my family is not exactly the best...

My mother in particular, while doting and loving, can be very controlling, and it can be quite an issue to deal with. I have no friends my age in New Jersey, and will be left quite alone with my family, which makes it several times more controlling...I was actually quit suffocated during my last stay in New Jersey, and I have no doubt that things can get worse...

It's not a very good situation, is it. (笑)

I think I have made clear within myself what I wish to do with my life. I enjoy doing many things, and am open to doing any kind of work...Overall, I strive for freedom.

I am still searching, really. I have mixed feelings about going. Things I can gain, things I will leave behind...For me, the changes amount to almost the same amount, and it all depends where I am happiest, even though suffering through hardship...

For now, I am outlining the things I can do when I go there. It might take a miracle for me to be able to stay here, and I have plenty of things I need to work out. So for now, I will see what I can do. If I can gain more working experience while I'm here, then it will be all the better.

Fight on, Get on, Keep on, Step up...F.G.K.S.

And for some reason, 走り出す時 also made an appearance. I will write messages to myself everyday, if I need to. To remember that I can get through this.

For now, I'll end this with the phrase I will rely on to bring me through everything:
頑張ります！

some old photos!

This was taken during "One Big Lay", a mini-event at the university when we were all invited to lie down on the school field and reminisce about the four years we've spent as college students. I swear, we had a pretty nice time. Ran into random friends on the field, and we even saw a floating lantern, like in Tangled! There should have been more lanterns. ♪


These, on the other hand, were some posters I made as props for this seminar:

It was basically a seminar on the promotion of Children's Rights through media, and it was actually quite informative and rather inspiring. I wish I'd been able to help some of the students out with their dance though--it looked as though they really could have used it. Oh well. (笑)

The past few days have actually been telling and convincing me to stay here where I love the things I do and experience. I'm not afraid to be on my own, but of course, family is important too. I wish there was a way to reconcile everything...

I need a job! (笑)

Though, my jewelry designs have been a little popular among people lately ♪

Plus, I have this new jewelry book. Maybe I should really open a shop? (笑)

Wish me luck!

Thesis Defense!

I passed my thesis defense last monday~ ♪ This is me in my defense attire (笑)
Ironically more like a Von Karma?!

As of now, I've just finished making the final edits to my thesis (^^) I hope that I will be able to print and bind it soon~ ♪

I will make this the end~!

Working on a last extra credit paper and some Japanese homework. I can do this!

Just watched Hayao Miyazaki's "Spirited Away"~ ♪

It was a really good movie! I can only hope I can make an equally good critique that will impress my teacher. I really owe my teachers this semester--they went out on a limb for me. I must not fail them (>_<)

Now to finish it all off~

頑張ります～

Sunday~

Went to school in the morning to study for an exam that afternoon. The library was closed, but I studied by the fountain instead.

So peaceful~ and the still waters reflected the trees so clearly ♪

Tomorrow will most likely be a day of chaos, so this one day of peace is very good ♪

お久しぶり～

ブログに書きなくてごめん！
先月はめちゃ忙しいんだ（＾＾；）

そして、今週にたくさんの試験があるんだ～
もう疲れた～

これは私のスケジュール。ああああああああー


There are no words in Japanese that allow me to express how dead I am. (笑)
SO THERE.

Off to the wilderness!

Tomorrow, I go to Mexico, Pampanga, for my immersion!

I hope things go well. I will be gone from December 17-19~

I suppose I could consider this a kind of wilderness sabbatical? (笑)

I'm packing my clothes in a panic now. (笑)

Overall, I have a good feeling about this trip~♪

Hopefully I discover many things.

頑張ります～！

Bad day (>_<)

Today was the 2nd round for Aka Myaku, our Host Club~

It turned out well enough, and I enjoyed parading around and such...

Although somewhere towards the end I had to be taken in a wheelchair to the infirmary--a serious headache left me pretty much immobile and weak. (>o<)/ I conked out in the infirmary bed for more than an hour, I think.

Then later, went to a tai chi session where I pretty much failed. (笑) It's not too big a deal though--tai chi is very difficult to learn.

But what made my day really horrible was the fact that my group mates in my Philosophy class decided to ax me--they did all the work without giving me a chance to do anything. It was enough to make me feel really frustrated--I wanted to flip tables. (笑)

Nonetheless, I know I will have to pull through this on my own. (>_<) It was just so frustrating; I really couldn't help but give in to a sort of rage that I've never really had before. But at the bottom of that rage was a kind of steadiness I can't explain. Perhaps there's a way out of this?

Tomorrow, I will go to my first ever UAAP game. FEU vs Ateneo, for the first game of the finals. I never thought I would actually see a game live.

I hope things work out, and that tomorrow is another opportunity for me to just be happy.

A taste of the 70's

During History class today, a group had a report on life in the 70's.

In order to give us a genuine experience of the time, they gave us Coca-Cola and Chippy. Apparently, these were luxuries back in the day.

Of course, I stole an extra bag and brought it to share with people at the Toujin Pillar. (笑)

Chippy is always good. (^^)

History~

I got to see an actual piece of what they called "Mickey Mouse Money" from the time of the Japanese Occupation here in the Philippines. ♪

Sometimes pieces of history like this are hard to come by~

I feel very fortunate (笑)

What.

What is this I don't even.

It's not every day that I get clung to for nearly an hour.

Amateur hairstylist. (笑)

Drove to school for the first time today~ (笑)

And also, got an "emergency call" to be a hairstylist.

What??? (笑)

Apparently, my two kouhais, Rei and Niki, had an org assembly to attend, and the theme was Avatar: The Last Airbender. For some reason, they wanted me to style their hair.

So, uhm. Okay. (笑)

And funnily enough, I looked like one. (笑)

Blackout.

The rain was so bad yesterday!! (>o<)We got stuck in a school building waiting for it to let up. I had to take a photo, though I'm not sure if you can tell how bad the rain was from this.

Typhoon Basyang pretty much officially struck later that evening. I was working on some things on my laptop when I heard the wind pick up, and heard things get knocked over outside...It was a pretty scary thing to hear.

I don't like storms very much...and I dislike them even more when there are blackouts--not only is it nerve-wracking to hear the chaos, thunder, and howling winds outside, but it is also very dark and spooky. It makes me feel like a lost child. (>.<) The power came back to our neighborhood about an hour ago, so I tried to get back to work then.

Unfortunately, it might take a little while more to figure out my thesis...I don't have a theoretical framework just yet. Urgh...


On a side note, the integration seminar for seniors was actually quite entertaining--I attended it last Monday, and picked up some useful things...I guess.
They made us write "bucket lists"--things we want to accomplish by the end of our senior year. Honestly, it really serves to make me a little more pressured...Especially that bit I wrote about my thesis.

I'm determined to make my thesis based on the otaku culture here in the Philippines...and I know I will do it. I need to do this, to convince myself that I can...Research paper writing has never been one of my greatest strengths, and so I need to make this one particularly good.

No use worrying about it though...I need to actually do something about it. Ugh...The power blackout kind of halted my progress on my thesis...I need to find something.

頑張ります!

Relaxed.

Just had a cold bath and a delicious dinner, nothing could bring the day to a better end (^_^)


Today was a day full of surprises! In one of my classes, our teacher, Jim Paredes (of APO Hiking Society) got someone to speak to our class about political humor, and who better to talk about it than Mae Paner, a.k.a Juana Change! She's a very funny political satirist whose Youtube videos are not only amusing, but very striking. She's been quite brave in speaking out her thoughts about Philippine politics (and politicians) and I admire her for it. (^^) I was lucky enough to have my camera with me, I took a photo with her at the end of the class. (^o^)/

Part of me feels that it was also a bit of a train wreck of a day, too. I got sprayed with the new Axe Twist earlier by a couple of friends, didn't really appreciate it (even though I like the smell of Axe in general). (>o<)!! It was not very pleasant.

Also, Toujin interviews continue! I got to meet some interesting people today and I'm glad to have stuck around, although Nikki on her sugar high kind of made me freak a little. (^^;) Aiyo.

In addition, I'm very nervous about my audition for Blue Symphony tomorrow...And I have a guidance test to worry about, too!! I suppose the relaxing end for the day is just to prepare me for the horrors tomorrow (>.<)/

In the end, it didn't rain today and I didn't get to do any special Tanabata rituals or whatnot to make up for forgetting yesterday. I should have burned a wish today or something? (>_<)

FLASHBACK, kimi wa CLEVER~ (笑)

As it is, I haven't been blogging lately. (笑)

Life has been crazy the past couple of days, honestly. its been a while since I've found time to sit down, eat some cookies, post photos and blog.
So, first things first! Last June 29th, the band got together again for some random jamming. I came along as a vocalist (though I'm still not quite confident about my voice ^^;)
The band!

EA, the guitarist; Mujib, the bassist; and MJ, the drummer.
Our main vocalist, Sarah, and our keyboardist, Patrick, weren't around.
Therefore, Kae and I stood in for vocalists. And failed quite epically. (>o<)/

We had fun though, even if we messed up on quite a number of songs. I am seriously beginning to wonder if I can even aspire to be a vocalist, really. I know I go off-key majority of the time. (T_T)


Following that, the week after, the recruitment week for school orgs started. Naturally, Toujin, our Japanese Culture org, was part of it and basically made a killing, so to speak. (笑) We got so many members!! Over 200! (^o^)/


Hung out at McDonald's for a while on one of those days, got teased by Ochibi for this picture. Do I really look like a Rikkai student with that scarf on? (笑)


Fun times, good times, sundae times. Kin-chan failed at many things that day.(笑)


Then finally, last Saturday (July 3rd), Ochibi, Kin-chan and I went to Saizen (known in Japan as Daiso). We saw a lot of things we wanted to buy, but as it is, we had to wait till the next time we could get together. I saw a great pass case that I wanted, but then again, I could probably wait until next time.


We ended our trip with a hearty dinner from Silver Lake, one of our main choices in Ali Mall's food court. Imagine getting two viands, rice, soup, a fried vegetable roll, and free iced tea, only for 85 pesos? And depending on your food, you can have it on one of those sizzling hot plates. It was really a very nice dinner, once again with us poking fun at Kin-chan and her fail. (^^)

It was one of the nicest weekends I'd spent in a long time. I hope to have another great weekend soon enough.

On a side note, I joined Blue Symphony this year! I'll be auditioning with my violin this Friday (July 9). I'm so nervous!!! I'm really not that good at playing yet, I hope they're willing to teach me more even if I suck (T.T)/

Today was a horribly rainy day. I'm glad I brought a cardigan along, I don't think I would have survived the day, considering I have my thesis class in an air-conditioned classroom.
And I'm starting to get a clearer picture of what I want my thesis to be...I know I definitely want to make a thesis on otaku culture...I just need an angle...

頑張ります!!

[EDIT] I FORGOT THAT IT WAS TANABATA TODAY. IT IS PAST MIDNIGHT, CAN I STILL WRITE MY WISH OR SOMETHING? D:

[EDIT 2] OKAY SO YOU BURN WISHES THE NEXT DAY BUT DO THEY HAVE TO BE WRITTEN ON TANABATA DAY?

[EDIT 3] Okay...So the actual 7th day of the 7th month isn't necessarily July 7th...It's actually on August 16th this year.

[EDIT 4] EVEN SO!!! I was too late!! Ah well. I will burn one of my wishes tomorrow I guess? Or set it afloat in the rain if it rains tomorrow/later.

FINALS?!

Today is our exam in Japanese! Aaaaagh. I haven't finished my market research, so I might have to resort to asking for my mother's help again...(;_;)
It's really in the last couple of days that work is finally starting to take its toll on me. (>o<)/

Yesterday was fun though. It was Setomaru's birthday!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SETO KOJI~
I went to Cubao (again) so that I could check on prices at Shopwise. Kin-chan and Ochibi thankfully helped me, it got the job done faster and we were able to hang out a little. Timezone fun! And I guess that's how we celebrated Seto's day?

Recently I've felt like, since we live in different cities but can see each other pretty easily, and because we love TeniPuri so much, part of me was thinking the silly thought that it was like we were living in different prefectures in the same region. and our constant hangouts and blogging are really starting to become more and more like Tenimyu actor blog posts.

I swear, we can be delusional. (笑) or maybe it's just me...

on a random note, I'm glad finals may be over today. My classmates and I will most probably have a shoot today for our final project, and then this Saturday, I mighthave to help choerograph a dance for the kids in the Japanese club. Since when did I become a choreographer?! (笑)

That's all for now though. I must cram!! (笑)

Dou, tensai teki? (笑)

What you see before you is my prize from today's little Kanji exercise, sponsored by presented by my classmate Kay. Admittedly, i didn't study for the exam and yet recognized a total of 24 kanji combinations, winning by only 1 point.(笑)

ROYCE CHOCOLATE FROM JAPAN (^o^)/ ♪

And as though that wasn't enough, Kay was so bored when we got out of class that she invited me and Sensei over to Chocolate Kiss in UP, since Sensei was going to UP anyway. She said it was her treat.

Sensei and I were very overwhelmed. (笑) I ordered pasta and a cake (>_<)



Hmm, I actually expected a much lighter cake than this, but it was quite good. It's called the Kahlua Butter Cake, but I expected the cake to be the usual yellow butter cake inside. Apparently I didn't read the description carefully enough. Haha! Despite me not being a big coffee drinker, I do enjoy coffee cakes. (^o^)

Saa, It was a good day. I came home late, but well, it was pretty much worth it. (笑)

I'm back!

Haha, I'm back to plain old English for a while. Blogging in Japanese is tiring!

Work has been fun so far, and Japanese is starting to make a little more sense for me. It's been the same routine, going to work, commuting back to school, and then going home and studying. (Okay, so I'm still working on that last bit.)

I hung out at the Japanese Studies Department after class today. They've got this BIG shipment of manga (in original Japanese, duh), and they're all food manga!!

It's enough to make you hungry just by looking at them. (笑) I've been trying my best to read some of them, and so far it's been good, though my head tends to hurt afterward.(笑)

In other news, I've written something in my other blog, Zero-to-One. The URL is going to be difficult to advertise--it's going to sound like numbers. (笑) To think that it's going to be filled with lines upon lines of whatever my mind comes up with!

If you like, while I have only one entry up on it, I can still make a different blog URL that's easier to remember and say. (笑) Tell me in a comment! Any suggestions (provided that they are free of ridicule and are creative) will be considered. (笑)

Oh, and do tell me what you think there too. I've never really shown anyone what I've written in this kind of style (songs/poems/whatnot) so honestly, I'm very nervous. (笑)

Thanks and tell me what you think!!

Practice again, haha.

今日は、日本語の授業が楽しい！！
日本語を大体習った（＞＿＜）
難しい!とても　難しい！そして、教室は暑い! 夏日はいつも暑い...

明日、何もしたくないです．．．でも、忙しい．．．仕事があるから。
大丈夫!仕事が好き。本当に好き！

土曜日、友達に会って、晩ごはんを食べるつもり。

疲れたから、寝たいです．
おやすみ！
----------
Practicing again. Thank you, Gus, for helping me compose this and for correcting my mistakes. The rough translation:
"Today, Japanese class was fun!!
I learned a lot of Japanese (>_<)
Difficult! Very difficult! And the classroom was hot! Summer days are always hot...

Tomorrow, I don't want to do anything...but, I'm busy...because I have a job.
It's okay though! I like my job! I really like it!

On Saturday, I'm meeting some friends, and we plan to have dinner.

And because I'm tired, I want to sleep.
Good night!"

I can only hope that all this practice will be effective. I actually had a picture to post from today, but I'm too tired to upload it.

Next time, everyone. Oyasumi~

Japanese practice -日本語 練習

昨日は、あまり働かなかった。（笑）
今日は、忙しい！Greenbeltに行きました！

暑い！！後で、電車で大学へ行きました。

今、日本語をべんきょうしています。大変です。。。（＞＿＜）
これからは毎晩べんきょうするつもりです！
頑張ります!
----------
I can only hope that my grammar is correct.（笑）
Here's a translation of what I tried to say:

"Yesterday, I didn't work much. (laughs)
Today, I was busy! I went to Greenbelt!

Hot!! Later, I took the train to University.

Now, I'm studying the Japanese Language. It's difficult...(>_<)
From now on, I plan to study every night!
Ganbarimasu!!"

I tried. （笑）In any case, we interns had to go to Makati Ave on an emergency errand. The office kept calling me on my cell phone to check on us, I think because of nerves that we wouldn't make it in time. Thankfully, we did, and I'm glad for it. Though there was a bit of a panic when I realized that the money the agency gave me for the errand was sort by nearly a thousand pesos--thankfully it was all cleared up and it wasn't much trouble. However, I got slightly lost in the Makati area thanks to some confusing directions from my fellow intern Raizza, but in the end I managed to reach the train station and take the train back to campus, and in time for class too. I still feel very rusty in the language and so I need to practice. Forgive me if you're able to spot any kind of mistake--I'm still learning!!